Preparing for a Colonoscopy

Instructions for Day before Colonoscopy
Instructions – Day before Colonoscopy

Hello folks, this is RG. I’m preparing for a colonoscopy tomorrow. A colonoscopy is when the doctor sticks a camera up your butt to look at your colon. They need to have you cleaned out so they can take a look around.

My instructions for today are liquid diet, and at 2pm take 3 Dulcolax, at 4pm mix 238g of Miralax (that’s 14 doses) into 64 ozs of gatorade or water – drink 10-12 ozs every 15-20m until finished. I’ve guzzled 48 ozs so far and … well nothing yet. Maybe the last 16 ozs will free the beast. Then at 6pm I’ll take 3 more dulcolax.

Interesting to me is that there is nothing in the instructions about protecting my arschenhole from the upcoming onslaught.

I’ve inserted a healthy dose of Preparation H into my bunghole to avoid any irritation. Hemorrhoids are caused by irritation. Irritation is caused by irregularity (constipation or diarrhea). Diarrhea is bound to happen VERY soon. With hemorrhoids, an ounce of prevention is worth a 100 pounds of cure. It is far easier to apply some Preparation H today, than to nurse a hemorrhoid for the next few weeks. I always keep Preparation H in the house, and when I’m irregular, I use it. It’s not just for curing hemorrhoids. I would argue that Preparation H is more useful as a preventative measure against them.

Ok, it’s time for the last glass of sludge (actually, it’s not so bad. I mixed 28 ozs of Gatorade with 36 ozs of water and the 238g of Miralax) and 3 more dulcolax. Any questions let me know. I’ll give an update after the procedure. – RG

Irregular Guy

Howdy, Regular Guy … err … Irregular Guy here. It’s been a while since I’ve posted, I’ve been busy living the hemorrhoid-free dream. But for the last few weeks, I’ve had an upset stomach. Red Flag. I know from experience that irregularity causes hemorrhoids, so I have to get into prevention mode tout suite.

I visited my doctor – since I was blackmailed into buying health insurance, I never like to pass up that opportunity. Everything looked ok and she recommended Gas-X (Simethicone). I’ve tried that with some degree of success. But in the week that ensued, I’ve noticed that my regularity is out of whack. I usually produce one giant soft log per day, but now I’m making 2-3 looser ones. I don’t attribute that to the Simethicone, rather to poor diet and stress.

BRAT diet
BRAT is an acronym for Bananas, Rice, Applesauce & Toast

The last thing I need right now is to nurse a hemorrhoid – so it’s time for action. Imodium (Loperamide HCL) normally works very well for me, so I headed over to Amazon and ordered the Imodium that also contains Simethicone (the active ingredient in Gas-X). Then it was off to the grocery store to get some “BRAT Diet” stuff. If you aren’t familiar with the BRAT diet, I’ll break it down for you. BRAT is an acronym for Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast. Easy on the stomach and easy on the pipes. It’s a good idea to lay off the kung-pao when your not pooping right.

It’s crucial to remember that when it comes to hemorrhoids, an ounce of prevention is worth 10 tons of cure. I get irregular once or twice a year, and for that reason I always keep Preparation H in the house. This week is one of those occasions where I get to use Preparation H for what it does best, preventing hemorrhoids. Before and after every irregular poop, and even for a few days after regularity returns, I’ll be generously using the stuff.

That’s all for now. Make sure you have some Preparation H in the house. It will save you a lot of trouble if you use it during irregular times. Any questions or comments, please let me know what you think.

Why I Keep Preparation H in the House

Why keep Preparation H in the house, even if you don’t have a hemorrhoid?

Never forget that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I came down with the flu last month, it was a nasty week of fever and mucus. After 4-5 days I gave in and went to the doctor. I was prescribed the “Z-pak” (a.k.a. Zithromycin), a strong 4-day treatment of antibiotics.

keep preparation-h in the house
Always keep some Preparation H in the house.

As soon as my flu symptoms went away, I had the misfortune of dealing with the Z-Pak hangover. This stuff is brutal. I did not even finish them all – I took 2 the first day, as directed, and 1 on the 2cd day. By the end of day 2 I had had enough. I had not had diarrhea like this in years. I was taking my daily does of Metamucil, but it was not holding everything together like it normally does.

I remembered that I had a rotten case of diarrhea just before my last hemorrhoid, and a frightening thought came over me. What if I start to feel better, but then have to nurse a hemorrhoid? No Thanks. So I grabbed the Preparation H and I lubricated my rear-end for more than a week, until pooping returned to normal. Just to be uber-safe, I still have it nearby. I can only assume that my butt suffered a little damage as a result of the Z-Pak diarrhea.

Would I have a hemorrhoid if I had not used the Preparation H? Who cares is my answer. Although I suspect that yes, I would have. The reality is, I did use it, I did not get a hemorrhoid, and I don’t have to worry about anything today except going to the beach. The best way to cure a hemorrhoid is certainly to prevent it, and the prevention is so much easier than the cure.

My Experience with Hemorrhoids

Hi. My name is RG and I have had 4 hemorrhoids. I’m the guy who made this website. I am NOT a doctor, I don’t have any miracle cures. The best thing I can help with is to tell you how I have finally learned to PREVENT hemorrhoids from recurring. I have not had a hemorrhoid recur in 4 years.

Hemorrhoid #1

Like many people, I went from an active youth, to a sedentary adult life, sitting at a desk job. One day, i think it was about 2005, I felt something when wiping. I bought some cream, did little to nothing else, and soon I had an external Grade IV hemorrhoid. Grade IV is when you cannot push it back in, and it hurts like hell. I had to have surgery for this hemorrhoid. Sadly that would not be the first time.

Hemorrhoid #2

After everything healed up from the surgery on hemorrhoid #1, I guess I thought “that’s it” and back to business as usual. BAD IDEA! Within a year I had my second Grade IV hemorrhoid. Surgery #2, and this time I’m going to learn my lesson. No. More. Hemorrhoids … For a short while …

Hemorrhoid #3

within 6 months of hemorrhoid #2, I had another one. This time I went to the doctor a little faster, as I had seen him very recently. It was a Grade III this time, which means you can push it back in, and it does not have a blood clot. It’s itchy and annoying, but it’s not yet painful. The doctor gave me the option: surgery or cure it at home. Curing it at home seemed like more work, so I opted for the knife for a 3rd time. Bad idea, never go for the quick fix. The first 2 surgeries may have been necessary because those hemorrhoids had blood clots, but this time I could have gone through the trouble of healing it at home. I was lazy.

Hemorrhoid #4

my last hemorrhoid occured in 2011. I decided to see what all the raving was about drinking wheat grass juice. I drank a little too much and it ran through me like drano. The irritation caused my 4th hemorrhoid. I decided that it would be my last. I went to a specialist to be sure that nothing was seriously wrong with me, and had the camera up the ass and everything. But this time I decided to heal it at home. I picked up the stuff I would need, and got serious about healing and preventing another hemorrhoid from ever happening again.

Hemorrhoid #5

has not happened. It has been 4 years since #4.